I have , of late , being finding it quite difficult to write my blog. I’m constantly on edge , tense – I cannot relax and don’t feel well. I’m tired , but not in a healthy way…….I keep thinking that in a few months I will be 70 years of age and I feel every minute of it. They say that people live longer today but that really applies to middle class people who have comfortable or moderately comfortable lives. I often wonder just how I lasted this long but looking at it objectively it is reasonable to think that I may not be around for much longer. No one knows exactly when they are going to die but once you get to my age you begin to realise that you are running out of time and the pressure I’ve been under these last few years would be enough to kill a horse. And there is no way out…..there is no way out of this nightmare.
By the way , I don’t mean to sound like a misery guts but if I kept all this to myself I would have gone mad or killed myself a long time ago. One strange thing that I don’t understand – I seem to be the only person on the internet who has a blog chronicling bullying of any sort. I have looked wide and hard and I cannot find one , not one blog by anyone anywhere who is being bullied. I seem to be the only person in Ireland , UK or indeed the whole of the english speaking blogosphere who is telling their story of what life with bullies is really like. Perhaps they are all to intimidated …… but it is strange …..Nothing new has happened in the last few weeks and months -just more of the misery that went before.
It is just coming up to 1:00 am and the noise is pumping from the pub across the road , just as it was last night and probably as it will tomorrow night. There is a lot I would like to write but I’m just too worn out to concentrate……