WAITING FOR DEATH
One of the disadvantages of living in a sheltered housing complex for older people is that you are constantly reminded of death. You just cannot get away from it. One by one your neighbours die. I’ve seen more people die in the last 7 years than in the whole of my previous life. This is obviously not good for ones mental health and when there are aggravating circumstances such as a bullying and intimidating atmosphere the combination can be lethal………
I think about death every day. This is , under the circumstance , quite normal. Death is the only thing that will rescue me from this living nightmare. I have done everything possible – I have notified Dublin City Council , I have written hundreds of words in various blogs about the bullying , I have told everyone who will listen and have even put a poster up in my window with the legend , ” I do not want to grow old with bullies” and in spite of all this and more not one person has ever knocked on my door to see if I am alright. Short of taking an ad out in the local press I cannot think of what else I can possible do. So why do I even bother ? Well , there is one good reason why I bother – One very good reason. No one is ever going to be able to say that they didn’t know what was going on. This is , after all what they always say…..This is the classic ‘get out of jail’ card that is used with great success by those in positions of responsibility when the proverbial you know what hits the fan.
Every day of the week I see people stop to read the poster I have in my window. I see mothers taking their children to school stop and read , I see social and healthcare workers park their cars outside my window and do a double take when they see the poster -I have literally seen hundreds of people read that poster and yet not one has ever asked me if there was a problem. There is a conspiracy of silence at work here. A lot of people don’t like the stance I’m taking but they don’t complain because to do so would be a recognition of sorts , however negative , of my situation. It is not that people don’t believe me ……..that’s one thing that victims often get wrong -they often feel that no one believes them but of course the real problem is that they DO believe them.
This system works well…..it is the default option. It always works. It always has worked. It always will work.