by louis walsh

  •          Who is the greater bully,  Is it the person directly engaged in bullying or the person in authority who sits back and permits a culture of bullying to exist – the person who , for obvious reasons , does not want to acknowledge that such a problem exists ?  Most victims of bullying do not report it as they feel that if the do the will not be believed or rather that  they will be believed and for this very reason will be further bullied by those in authority.  After all if there is a problem it means that someone in authority  has not been practicing due diligence . It is a sad and disturbing fact that most victims of bullying/abuse fear that they and not the bully will be judged to be the problem. Their fear is well grounded.

I recently had occasion to make an official complaint of bullying at a sheltered housing complex to Dublin City Council . In response I got a letter back  stating that if they were to pursue my complaint it might entail releasing my name to the bullies. The intention behind this may or may not have been malicious but the consequences are quite clear. Most victims of bullying are vulnerable and weak , lacking confidence etc and this statement would in most cases cause the victim to drop the matter there and then.  Given the fact that most victims are afraid to make a complaint in the first place letters like this ensure that only  the most resolute , most determined , most confident persons will actually go ahead with the enterprise.  In short , only those who are extremely unlikely to be victims of bullying in the first place  will actually consider  prosecuting  the matter at all.

Everyone that matters is happy with all of this.  The bully is happy as it’s not likely that anyone is going to go after him in a serious fashion. The person in authority is happy as the official complaint by the victim never actually materialises  and consequently no claims of  negligence  etc will be made.  Everything keeps on going just as it has been for years…….buisness as usual…… . Everyone is happy.  Everyone that matters that is.   In time someone will issue a report to say that most victims of bullying do not report the bullying as they fear they will be further  bullied by those they report the matter to. The report will go on to say that this , of course, is not true……..Everyone will be happy with the report.    Everyone that matters that is.

The bully will be permitted to consolidate his position ( his power).  He knows how and where  to position himself.  He is a charming man/ woman. ……Everyone is happy.  The man in authority is charmed by the charming man/ woman.  The care / charity provider is happy to be charmed by this charming man/ woman. ……The proverbial man in the street is happy that there are such good charming people……….Everyone is happy. ………Everyone that matters………….The victim learns the hard way that no one wants to know.  The victim assumes the pose. He learns to avert his eyes…….to not stand out. ….. He isolates himself…….he stops joining in…..