being a true account of life in a sheltered housing complex in Ringsend Dublin


A few days ago I got yet another letter from Dublin City Council. I did not read it as I’m sure it’s not a letter of apology on their part for the years of intimidation that tenants in Cambridge Court have had to suffer. But it seems likely that they will evict me. I don’t know how long this will take but I imagine it will be a couple of months or so. At my age being evicted would be tantamount to a death sentence. It is quite impossible to get an affordable flat in Dublin just now and if your old and working class then it is probably pointless to even try to find somewhere. There are of course homeless shelters and hostels but these are not the sort of place that any normal person would want to live in. So if I was evicted it would just mean that I would have to live on the street. At my age and in my state of health I would not last very long -perhaps a couple of weeks but not much more than that.

Funnily enough none of this is any surprise to me. When I first made an official complaint of bullying to Dublin City Council about a year  ago I knew that eventually it would come down to this. Every victim of institutional  type bullying  fully understands  that if they push the issue then it’s only a matter of time before they are turned on by the very people who are supposed to be protecting them. Most victims  just suffer in silence and die before their time. Obliviously  I’m not happy about this situation that I am in but there are worst things than dying…..and we are all going to die at some point so it might as well be now as any other time. Fear is a very potent weapon and bullies and their protectors thrive on it. As a weapon it works very well …..unless that is , you overplay your hand and push people too far. And if you do push people too far have they  a moral right to hit back ? Have they a legal right to hit back ? This is a perfectly legitimate question. It is a perfectly reasonable question to ask and the fact that some people may not be happy that  this  question is being asked does not alter anything. This was one of the questions raised by the Nuremberg trials.

It is Friday afternoon here in Dublin and it is a wet miserable day. I am sitting in my flat while the bullies are in the Common Room enjoying themselves. No one else is there but that is not unusual. They seem particularly  brazen these last few weeks and are , I would imagine , enjoying this whole situation. But I would hate to be living inside their heads……


For several years now the local community Gardai have been visiting the bullies who run Cambridge Court. I have never know them in all that time to actually call on tenants and so I can honestly say that they have been calling down to see the bullies but in the last few weeks this has changed. Now they are calling to see me. I did not invite them. I did not ask them to call and I would rather they didn’t……….

One of them called on me today and asked if there had been any more trouble. He was referring to the fact that a couple of weeks ago I took the lock off a door in Cambridge Court so that tenants could use the kitchen. The implication  of his  question was of course that I had caused trouble. The trouble was actually caused by the retired matron who for years has refused to let tenants use the place and the Gardai who responded to her phone call instead of simply saying that it was a private matter and nothing to do with them. There has been trouble in Cambridge Court for years but it only became trouble to the Gardai when , after six years of extreme patience and restraint on my part I felt it had just gone on far too long. The Gardai are not calling on this retired matron to tell her she must not prevent tenants using the kitchen nor are they calling on Dublin City Council to advise them to put an end to this situation – they are only calling on me. This is quite intimidating and the message I am getting is very clear……

There is , as I have said , trouble in Cambridge Court every day of the week and big trouble at that but that’s not a matter that the Gardai or DCC are interested in. They only become interested if a tenant  decides he/she has  had enough. None of this is in any way in the interest of tenants but who cares about the tenants. They presumably should be grateful they have a roof over their heads and leave it at that. Not only is it not in the interest of tenants it is positively harmful to tenants. Tenants who for years have lived without hope now have the message driven home that it is pointless  to even try to change things. Is this what community police is all about ? Bullying is a serious offense and there  is evidence of it in abundance in Cambridge Court for anyone who cares to open their eyes but obviously no one is even remotely interested. At no point in the last few weeks has any Garda or detective  Garda  expressed any interest in investing the matter. It is just not that important. It may well , as the evidence suggests , shorten the life of it’s victims and do them appalling damage but that is not even an issue with the authorities.

Meanwhile , back in the real world , the nasty intimidating world of sheltered housing the bullying and intimidation goes on unchallenged. The victims are on their own. Not only are they abandoned and alone but the Gardai are there to make sure it stays that way. As I keep repeating over and over again on this blog – the bullies are not the problem , it is the people who protect them  that are the problem.



It is 2:30 in the afternoon and I am sitting in my flat like most tenants. The Day Centre/Common Room is empty so in theory I could go in there but for what purpose ? There are computers in there that no one uses ( apart from the bullies that is ). There is a large snooker table which is likewise used by the bullies or their friends and various other people who don’t live here and there are several bingo tables which are used exclusively by even more people who also don’t live in Cambridge Court. Apart from all that the place  is just not nice to be in at any time. ‘Just another day in sheltered housing. Another empty miserable day with nothing for tenants to do. And if some tenants were  pushed too far , decided to change all that ……..well , they would very soon be put in their place.  The Gardai and Dubllin City Council  are there to see that things stay just as they are. It may not suit the tenants -it might not be in the interest of tenants but what has that got to do with it ?

Tomorrow night the kitchen in the Day Centre will be opened , the cups laid out , the tea prepared but not for tenants. No the tenants will be in their flats while yet another gang of people who don’t live here take over the place for the night. This is sheltered housing. The tenants will be one day older and one day closer to their graves , one more empty miserable meaningless day but not to worry this suits the powers that be. They are more than happy as are the bullies. The non-tenants who take full advantage of this  situation are also quite happy. This kind of thing is happening every day of the week in sheltered housing units and old peoples homes but  as  long as everyone is happy who cares.


It is Tuesday night in Cambridge Court. Bingo night. As I write this there are at least twenty people playing bingo in the  tenants Day Room/Common Room but they don’t actually live in Cambridge Court. Tenants as usual are stuck in their one room bedsits with nothing to do. This has been going on for at least ten years and there is nothing they can do about it. If any tenant was to go over right now and insist on their right to use the Day Centre the bullies would call the police and the Gardai would be quick to tell the tenants to behave themselves. Dublin City Council go out of their way to protect the bullies and so tenants are on their own. No one is looking after the interests of the tenants……Not the Gardai and certainly not Dublin City Council.

It is a very hot night here in Dublin and I had  my door open to cool my flat down but had to  close the door due to the noise of these people. They were , by the way , enjoying a nice cup of tea made in the Day Centre kitchen from which tenants have been banned for years now. The last time I tried to use this facility the Gardai were called and Dublin City Council accuse me of anti-social behavior.


Yesterday evening at 6:30 I was having my dinner when two Garda detectives  knocked on my door. They had come to see me about my blog. They were polite , even friendly and left after I agreed to moderate some of the language  I use in my blog. They were here for perhaps twenty minutes. It was not intimidating in any way -although any visit from the police tends to make one a little uncomfortable. But like I say , they were courteous and polite so not harm done. Or at least no obvious harm done……

The reason they called on me  was that the bullies in Cambridge Court complained to the Gardai and Dublin City Council and presumable the council complained to the Gardai. The fact that the Gardai might not see it that way does not alter the facts. The Gardai did not call on Dublin City Council to ask them why tenants are being bullied , nor did they call on the bullies and ask them to desist. And a couple of years ago when I was threatened  by one of the bullies their  only response was to tell me that they could not get involved as it was a matter for Dublin City Council. The simple fact is that the only thing this visit from the Gardai achieved was to make the bullies feel even more invincible than they already are. The finer arguments and small print are academic -the bullies got what they wanted. That’s the bottom line. Nothing has changed apart from that. No one , not one single soul felt threatened by what I wrote in my blog and the fact that I will moderate my language  in future will probably not even be noticed.

The Gardai will feel they have done their duty and protected the community. The council will feel that they have put me back in my cage and in my place and the bullies…….They will just sit back  scratch their bellies and snigger as they continue to bully. Game set and match. And as to the tenants  (victims) – well , as I keep repeating , they just don’t matter. Things will go on just as they always have……and by the way , your paying for all this with your  taxes.


It has just gone 12:00 at night. I’m sitting in my flat in Cambridge Court wondering if the noise from the pub across  the road will go on until one or two in the morning. Either way I will be up until 2:30 or later. If I was eighty years of age and in the last stages of terminal cancer it would make no difference – I would still have to wait up until the early hours of the morning. This is sheltered housing Irish style. Tomorrow  night it will be the same , and the night after. I’m not really sure why I am even bothering to record this.  I suppose it is  because I have nothing else to do but while I’m at my blog let me send out an appeal to anyone who might read this. Do you , dear reader , know of any blogs  by senior citizens who are being bullied or are living in a bullying environment ?  I cannot find even one. In spite of spending many weeks looking I still  cannot find a single one. So if you do know of any please let me know.

In a week or two I will be 68 years and to be honest I’m beginning to feel every day of it. How long can my body/mind cope with all this stress ?  Sorry for moaning but if I didn’t moan I would go mad……..


It is just gone 8:00 pm and I’m sitting in my flat (my bedsit) in Cambridge Court Sheltered Housing complex.  Tonight is bingo night , but not for the tenants.  Twenty or thirty people who don’t live in Cambridge Court , who don’t pay rent in Cambridge Court will take over the Day Centre/Common Room tonight and have a grand old-time. If they feel the need to shout and swear they will do so. The fact that elderly tenants may not be well or indeed actually dying will not stop them. It has never stopped any of the many gangs  of people who use Cambridge Court as their own personal play area several nights a week. And it has never bothered Dublin City Council who are more than happy to see this state of affairs being inflicted on old and vulnerable tenants.

If any tenant should take exception to this and tell these people to go home they would be bullied back into their flats and if that didn’t work , if the tenants stood their ground then the bullies who are behind all of this would turn on them. If , in spite of all this bullying and harassment , the tenant refused to accept this situation then  the Gardai  (police) would be called. ………And guess whose side they would take ?………..This is the reality of daily life for old and vulnerable  tenants in Cambridge Court. It is as simple as that.


For those who may not have read my blog before let me give you some background. I’m a 68 year old pensioner living in a sheltered housing complex in Ringsend in Dublin. I have lived here for appx 6 years and literally from my first day here I have witnessed bullying and intimidation. Eventually after years of being bullied myself and watching others being intimidated and bullied I finally made an official complaint to Dublin City Council. To make a long story short they did nothing and it was obvious they had no intention of doing anything. There is nothing new in any of this. Just about every report and study ever issued demonstrates that if a victim finds the courage and strength to complain officially they will , A – be fobbed off …….and if this does not work , if the victim insists that something be done then , B – they will become the problem. Not only will the victim not get any help but they will be declared to be the problem.  The victim of bullying will  have become the bully and the bully will be declared the victim.  This phenomena  is well documented and is  indeed the principle  reason for victims not reporting bullying in the first place.

I made my official complaint to Dublin City Council about a year ago and as I have said nothing was done.  In Cambridge Court there is a day centre or common room and within this day centre is a kitchen. In spite of the fact that this kitchen is there for the tenants those same tenants have been locked out and prevented from using it while others , who do not live in Cambridge Court have the free run of the place. Week after week , month after month and year after year people who do not live in Cambridge Court have the full use of the kitchen. When these people are not using it it is locked. The reason for this state of affairs  is bullying -plain and simple. The bullies hold the keys and every time a non resident walks into the kitchen and makes a cup of tea while tenants are refused it sends out a not-so-scuttle message to all tenants as to who is really in charge. This behavior is intended to intimidate and does intimidate. All this may sound quite trivial but this type of thing is part of a pattern of intimidation and bullying that is a permanent and all pervasive reality of life in Cambridge Court.  Now , about a week ago I decide I had had enough of this and so I removed the lock from the kitchen door. The reaction from Dublin City Council was immediate . The police were called , the lock fixed and a letter rushed off to me. There was no hesitation. They was no prevarication…..action was taken…………………………………All of this in sickening contrast to the total indifference to intimidation and bullying which has blighted the life of many tenants for years. Not only was I accused of threatening people and damaging council property ( I removed 3 screws)  but I was also accused of threatening to kill people ….this being a reference to my anti bullying blog. Funnily  enough this was never an issue in the past ……I had been writing about the bullying in Cambridge Court for six years and saying more or less the same thing for all those years but it only became an issue when I removed the lock on the kitchen door. If I had not removed the lock I could have carried on with my blog writing whatever took my fancy for the next ten years  and no one would have given a damn. Of course if it was not my blog it would have been something else. Funnily enough when I took the decision to remove the lock the first thing that came into my head was that they would take exception to my blog but I took a deliberate decision not to delete any part of it as they would no doubt have found something else to use against me.

There is , as I have said , nothing new in any of this. About a year ago here in Ireland there was case where a woman had accused her partner of abusing her child. She went to the  appropriate authorities and was fobbed off  but refused to let the matter drop. In return she ended up being accused of abuse and her partner given custody of the child. In the official report it noted many more cases like this and made the point that if the victim was articulate and forceful then this was almost always the outcome. The institution will defend itself at any cost. And the institution can be quite vicious ….and a viscous and powerful institution will use all its considerable power to silence a victim. Its and old story……

So if you are a victim of institutional type bullying be warned:  First they will ignore you. Then (if you haven’t  got the message)  they will fob  you off in one manner or another and if you insist on pushing the issue they will then turn on you….THE VICTIM.  Officials who had neither the time or inclination to stop old vulnerable men and women  being intimidated and bullies will , in an instant , find the will , the inclination and all the required  resources to bully the VICTIM.    It is not an easy road to go down. You will be on your own. No one will help you and those who should will turn on you. It is happening every day of the week in institutions and old folks homes. You will be bullied and intimidated  by the very people who should be protecting you. It is a frightening and lonely experience. For decades in this country victims of abuse suffered this fate………and no doubt , many still are. Don’t expect a kind word or even a grain of human understanding.  Do not expect to be reassured…….you won’t be.  You will be on your own and at your most vulnerable and that’s not a nice place to be. You , the victim , will be presented as the villain.  There is a lot at stake in all of this and not just for you. The officials with responsible for the running of Cambridge Court will never admit that they have facilitated bullying of tenants . They will never acknowledge their guilt.

The very first person I spoke to when I moved into Cambridge Court was an old man. He was standing at his front door crying and his first words to me , the first words I ever heard in Cambridge Court were ,   ” They’re  bullying me , they won’t leave me alone , they are bullying me”. These , the very first words spoken to me in Cambridge Court. He was just an old vulnerable man and Dublin City Council did nothing to protect him. They were far to busy protecting the bullies….How many old people died before their time in Cambridge Court because the City Council just didn’t want to know ?  For myself , all I can say is that the trauma of living in Cambridge Court will follow me to my grave. My life , for all practical purposes is ruined. I carry the mental scars with me every minute of the day and will do so up to the moment of my death. Today it  is sheltered housing and old people’s homes , yesterday it was the Magdeline laundries and orphanages. But the people are the same. The indifference is the same. And more often than not the victims are the same.


cambridge court interior 007

This is the interior of the Day Centre in Cambridge Court. Please double-click on the image to get a full appreciation of just how stark / sterile and  uninviting this room really is. It  looks like a recreation room in a prison / homeless shelter or some other such institution. There are no easy chairs or carpeting or anything to soften the austerity. The kitchen , where tenants are supposed to be able to make tea for their visitors or guests  is locked.  It is permanently  locked. The woman who holds the key ( ex matron) has refused to give the key to tenants who wish to use the kitchen. There is a snooker table in the middle of the room. Most mornings cursing/swearing  from the snooker players can be heard through the open door – so much so that on sunny days tenants who might wish to sit in the garden area are forced to return to their flats and close their doors to get away for the bad language and attendant noise.  The ex matron sits in this Day Centre most of the day and every day of the week. She is a coarse vulgar woman with an intimidating manner who is quick to take every opportunity to abuse fellow tenants. Given all of this it is of course  understandable that so  few tenants  use the Day Centre. I personally only go in there at night and then just to get away from the noise of the pub across the road ( Sally’s Return). None of this is an accident. This situation exist because it suits the bullies/thugs who are permitted by Dublin City Council to run Cambridge Court in a manner that suits only them. Dublin City Council are aided in this by the various do-gooders who inflict themselves on the tenants for reasons  that in turn suit these do-gooders.  One example of such people is Google.

This is not the place or time to do an in-dept analysis of the true nature and character of Google . Suffice it is to say that Google are the biggest facilitators of pornography in the history of human kind. They work hand in hand with some of the most oppressive regimes in the world. They hold masses of personal information on you and I which could never be justified in the normal run of things  and the spend a fortune seeing to it that they pay as little tax as possible. Google is not some sort of  liberal or benevolent entity but it has a genius for marketing itself as such and has for the most part been very successful in this regard. One very important string in this bow of Google’s is its self perpetuated reputation  for putting money and good work back into the community.  (Considering the millions that they make the money they ‘put back’ is indeed  miniscule). Google  has no real interest in the local community. Hundreds of  indigenous  locals were ethnically cleansed out of the area of Docklands to make way for the Dockside apartments that the new Google workforce  would expect and need. Google’s  only interest is Google. The local community is just something to be exploited with the sole purpose of making Google look good. Recently ( just a few days ago ) Google sent some Google employees down to Cambridge Court as volunteers to repaint the Day Centre. They did not ask me or any other of the tenants if they wanted  this but simply sat down with the bullies and decide to do it. If they had asked me I would have explained that there was NO benefit  to the tenants in all this and that the only people who would in fact benefit would be the various groups of local people who use Cambridge Court for bingo or choir / sing song practice of various other activities. These people are of course friends of the bullies and are the ONLY people who actually use the Day Centre in Cambridge Court in the evenings. The tenants are in effect barred from the place and have to spend their nights in their flats looking at the walls if they don’t have anything better to do. And as I have already stated no one uses it in the day time either for obvious reasons. Google have the reward of the ensuing good publicity / political capital they get out of ‘helping’ the local senior citizens and the bullies take a bow for being instrumental in bringing this largesse  in the first place.  Both parties walk away smelling of roses. Dublin City Council look on with a benevolent smile on their face and everyone is truly happy. The myth that the old folk in Cambridge Court are being cared for and cherished grows  ever bigger. The power of the bullies expands with every charitable act……Everyone is happy.  Google get to look good…..Google is happy. The council get to feel and look good for providing the ‘ hardware’ in the first place and all the various other attendant do-gooders get to feel good (and empowered to do even more good)  so really and truly everyone is happy. The fact that Cambridge Court is a nasty , intimidating and lonely reality for most tenants is simply not an issue.

cambridge court interior 009


Not only have Google painted the place but they have also fitted a bank of electrical sockets along one of the walls for new computers they are supplying to the bullies. I say they are being put in for the bullies as they and their hanger- ons are the only people who use the computers or anything else in the Day Centre. The only practical difference all of this will make is to give the whole place and even more clinical/industrial look than it already has. And it will probable also faciliitate the bringing in from outside  Cambridge Court even more groups to use the place further isolating /intimidating the people who actually live there. I would like to invite you again to double click on the above images so that you might understand just how cold/clinical and generally uninviting this place is.

You may feel that all of this is pettiness and even vindictiveness  on my part but it has to be seen in context. When I first moved into Cambrdidge Court I wrote about the bullying in my blog. The bullies had their own semi-officail Cambridge Court blog but it was buried somewhere between page 50 and 80 of  Google , so much so that it took me over six months to actually find it. The bullies were not happy about my blog and tried in various ways  to intimidate and isolate me but as this just drew attention to my blog (and more traffic) they soon realized the value of having ones  blog on page one of Google  (as mine was) so they contacted Google who obligingly came out and fixed their blog so it now features in first place on the first page of Google (it is almost never updated and has or had no readers) . It is immovable. It is stuck there. It is fixed. I should say here that Google knew I had a blog that was dealing with bullying in Cambridge Court. They had read my blog and even complemented me on it……..even going so far as to suggest that I help them teach other tenants about how to blog. The fact that I declined their offer did not help I’m sure to make them sympathetic to my anti-bullying cause. Google’s  sole contribution in all of this was to give the bullies even more power than they already had and this AFTER I had informed them  of exactly what was going on. While all this was going on Crooscare  decided to start a snooker tournament so now we have even  more people coming into the Day Centre. These people spend most of the time swearing/cursing at the top of their voices so much so that on sunny days tenants have to forgo the sun and lock themselves in their flats to get away from the noise. And here’s the beauty of it– Crosscare don’t pay a penny in rent to Dublin City Council . They did not have to wait on the waiting list for 5 to 10 years….They are not  tenants of Dublin City Council and yet they , with the blessing of Dublin City Council have forced this nuisance on myself and other tenants. There are a whole army of people out there who don’t live in Cambridge Court , don’t pay rent in Cambridge Court but in spite of this have  a greater say in how Cambridge Court is run than any tenant is ever likely to have. Crooscare don’t pay rent – I do ……but Dublin City Council don’t listen to me , don’t care if I’m happy or not or even if I am suicidal. And let me repeat something that I said in a previous post.  Tenants have transferred out of Cambridge Court because they were being driven to thoughts of suicide.

As I write this it is Tuesday night , bingo night in Cambridge Court. The Day Centre is packed with people who don’t live in Cambridge Court. The tenants are stuck in their flats and if they are lonely and depressed  then that’s just tough luck…….And now , one last photo…….take a look at this last photo. It looks quite innocent. But double click on this photo and then consider what I have to say…..


I took this photo today. These cups are set out for the bingo crowd who will be in the Day Centre tonight playing bingo. None of these people live in Cambridge Court. On Thursday night and Friday night the cups will be laid out  again for  the other groups of non resident who use Cambridge Court on those nights. I have seen neighbours of mine die in Cambridge Court , I’ve watched people waste away with cancer and then die isolated and lonely in their flats……but I have never NEVER seen ANY tenant EVER have a cup of tea in the Day Centre.  I have seen people bullied out of their homes in Cambridge Court. I have seen tenants who walk the streets every day of the week and sit alone in their flats seven nights a week and NEVER NEVER have I seen even one of these people have a cup of tea in the Day Centre.  This is supposed to be the place where tenants can  go in to  sit down have a little chat and maybe a cup of tea and company ……but no one uses it. The bullies have seen to that.

This is wrong. This is immoral. This is nasty.

All the above was written yesterday. Today the snooker crowd were in Cambridge Court. For several hours they wandered in and out of the Day Centre cursing , swearing and drinking tea from the now open kitchen/canteen while the ex matron sat there wallowing ( a suitable word) in the glow of it all. The nasty habit some of them had of spitting on the ground at the door of the Day Centre did not seem to bother her in the least. This went of for hours until they left at which point the kitchen was locked up again as it will remain until tomorrow night when another group who don’t live in Cambridge Court will be in to use the Day Centre. This is wrong. This is nasty and it is immoral. This is BULLYING. ………..and it is going on every day of the week in Cambridge Court.

Nightime in Sheltered Housing Ringsend Dublin

It is now a quartet to twelve at night and I’m sitting in the Day Centre of Cambridge Court. There is a smell of someone having friend chips or something of that sort. There is a small kitchen here and tonight a local choir group were using the centre so they obviously made use of the kitchen. In the six or more years that I have been living here I have never known the tenants of Cambridge Court to have use of this kitchen- it is only available to friends of the bullies who of course don’t live here. I could hear them singing to their heart’s content up to about 11:00 pm. It is a very hot night and my door had been open but I had to close it to shut out the noise. Unfortunately the pub across the road was just starting up its nightly  noise so I had it from both sides. I don’t want to be sitting here , I would much rather be in bed. I feel tired and not altogether well.

This is Sheltered Housing. This is the reality of Sheltered Housing. I will be up tonight until 2:30 at least. And tomorrow night it will be just the same. If I could find somewhere else to live I would be gone in a flash but its pretty much impossible to get a flat in Dublin now unless you have lots of money. And if like me your old then you don’t have a chance in hell. I would live on the street but I’m just not up to that , I wouldn’t last a week. I have gone beyond hope. Which is to say that I’ve seen the light. This is it. This is real life and it’s not going to get any better. I have been living like this more of less now for 25 years…….Forgive me if I sound like a moan but if I didn’t moan I would go mad. This blog is my one release.  It is now 12:15 and I have just been over to my flat to get some cigarette papers and the noise from the pub in blaring into my flat. They only have a license to play music up until 11:30 but there is no point in phoning the police. Ironically here in the Day Centre there are lots of community police notices pined up advising tenants how to look after themselves etc etc.  From time to time they call in on their bikes and have a chat with the bullies and then they go off again. They are happy and the bullies are happy. The rest of us are on the transfer list………

This really does sound like one long moan. If I was a comedian I would throw in a joke here to lighten the mood but I can’t think of anything funny just now. And of course you don’t have to read this. All you have to do is move the mouse and click. You can click me in and out of existence at will.  — I have just been  outside the Day Centre to get some fresh  air. All the lights are off in the flats and the whole place is dark apart from the Day Centre itself. which is lit up like some beacon in a sea of black and I’m sitting here in the light like some character out of an Edward Hopper painting…..If you lived in Dublin and happened to be down this way and passed by just now you would probable wonder why there was a light on…….but only for a moment , then you would pass on and some other thought would come into your head. Like when you’re sitting in a train passing the bottom of  a row of gardens and you find yourself wondering about the people who might live in those houses….. – I like trains. I like looking out of a train windows  late at night wondering about all those anonymous people with their  anonymous existences. There is something romantic about trains ……and there is a special quality about night when you are alone and everyone else is asleep and everything is , or should be ,  quiet . But there is nothing romantic about Cambridge Court- day or night.

It is now almost 2:30 am and I’m back in my flat having a last cup of coffee and a cheese sandwich before I go to bed. I will roll 5 or 6 cigarettes and puff and cough in the dark until merciful sleep descends. I may , or may not dream. I often dream after eating cheese but I’m never old in my dreams. And in my dreams my friends are all still alive.







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